Are You Okay?

So I throw up.  A lot.  It's a rare day when I don't at least dry heave several times a day.  (Like you all wanted to know that, but I'm telling you anyway.  And I do have a point...)

I'm not sure if it's the meds I'm on, or dialysis, or just a general state of not-well-being, but I feel nauseous most of the time. 

My vomiting episodes are usually started with a cough of some sort...let's call it the dry heave before the storm. :)  When I cough, my kids instantly ask, "Mom, are you okay?" 

This happened on Tuesday when Ian and I were on our way home from school.  I started gagging a bit and then started vomiting a bit.  After the episode was over, Ian asked, "Mom, are you okay?"

I started tearing up a bit and told him that what I'm most excited for about getting a new kidney is that my kids won't have to worry about me anymore.  I told him that, while I love that he's worried about me, and I know that he cares about me, it should be me that's worried about him.  The roles have been reversed for the past nine months.  I'm so ready to be a good mom again.

I love my children more than I can say.  They have been so strong and amazing through this whole thing.  It would be easy for them to complain and whine about how sick I am, but they don't.  I have been so blessed with the two most amazing kids any mom could ever ask for.  I hope someday we can look back on all of this with fond memories of how we grew together as a family.  It's what I wish for every single day.