Done-da-done-done DONE!

Reflections on another school year gone by...

1. This year FLEW by! I talked to several teachers last night and we all agreed that it just went by really fast.

2. Musical accomplishments: Qualifying for State Marching Band for the fourth straight year. Qualifying for State Concert Festival for the first time in about 8 years. Twelve students were selected to participate in the All-Region honor band. (More than any other year in BMHS history.)

3. Professional highlights: Doing "Guys and Dolls." (LOVED IT!) Graduating 23 seniors this year, and gaining 40 freshmen next year! Really feeling like the band is starting to take off this year. The "culture of mediocrity" is almost on it's way out the door! It's taken me five years here at BMHS, but I finally am starting to feel like I'm "getting it." I used to feel like those commercials that said "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." At first I felt like an imposter and lived on pins and needles waiting for someone to figure that out. HA! I guess they never did! :)

4. Personal highlights: Watching Ian wrestle and get to the State Tournament this year. Watching Ian grow into his new middle school role. It wasn't easy for him at first, but he's finally starting to get it. He's doing well on trumpet and is enjoying being in band. (Go band geeks!) Watching Courtnie become a good cheerleader after struggling for a few years. (She definitely has Cobabe genes!) She's also started taking piano lessons and is LOVING them. She's such a smartie-pants and it's fun for her to have something of her own. Gordon started coaching freshmen football and is having the time of his life. I joke with people that I wish I could make him that happy, but I've really never seen him so content. I'm happy for him.

We have a new principal. I think he's going to do really well here. He has youthful energy and enthusiasm that our school sorely needs. I just want so badly for everyone here to give him a chance to make it work! Put the negative attitude in check and move on!

Summer plans: Next week--ABSOLUTELY nothing. Sleeping until noon every day--not showering, *just kidding* and hanging with the kids. We're going to Chandler today for the weekend and going to a Diamondbacks game on Monday. That should be fun. After that, I'll be in and out of my room getting things ready for next year. It will be here before I know it! Courtnie gets baptized on June 27 and then we're leaving for Utah on July 5 for Ian's wrestling camp. I'd like to stay in Utah for about 10 days, but maybe my sisters will want to kick me out before then. Who knows...

I'm content and tired. Graduation was last night and between setting up, tearing down and all of the emotions that went along with it, I'm beat. There's always tomorrow to sleep, right?

School year 2008-09...I'm out.

To my Lullub

I realized last night that I must have been absolutely brilliant as a child to call my brother, Billy "Lullub." It's almost exactly how you would pronounce "Billy" backwards. Should have known then! :)

Anyway...

My brother, Bill and I are only 15 months apart. Because we were so close in age, we had our fair share of struggles getting along growing up. He still has some lovely scars on his face from my fingernails. (In my defense, he DID pull my wig off. Not nice!) We'd fight like cats and dogs and were not very nice to each other. None of my brothers and sisters were very nice to each other growing up, but that's a story for another blog entry. :)

Favorite "Bill-ism" that still gets my upset to this day..."You could be right, Amie...you could be right." ARGH! I hated that!!

In high school, I would tolerate Bill, but mostly he just annoyed me--as little brothers do. We were in the same bands together during my senior year, and I'm sure he didn't always like being "Amie's little brother." As hard as it is to be the oldest sometimes, it's just as difficult to be a younger sibling trying to find your own path, rather than the one your older sister blazed for you.

I have been privileged to watch him become a father and a husband these past 13 years or so. I wish we lived closer, but I can still glean great things from blogs, emails, and phone conversations. He's a person who is close to the Lord, who loves his wife unconditionally, and adores his kids. I'm sure he's a wonderful member of his Bishopric. All in all, he became a great person in spite of having me for an older sister. ;)

During these past few months, as we've had a family trial to deal with, he's been a rock for all of us. We (my sisters and I) have called him for advice and just to vent, and he's always been a great listening ear. He has done the best he could to be patient, forgiving, and loving through it all. It hasn't been easy, but he's been as Christlike as he could possibly be, and I admire him for that.

I love you, Bill. I'm glad that we have been able to overcome the childlike issues we had growing up to become friends. I know I still rib you from time to time, but it's all in good fun, and you take it well. No one else I know could wear jeans that say "Cool Stuff" on the back and get away with it! :)

Take heart--know that I'll always be here for you, and so will your amazing little family. Times may be tough, but we'll get through it together. That's what family is all about.

Pure Leadership

I recently finished the book "No One Can Take Your Place," by Sheri Dew. This book was the most inspirational and moving book I've read in quite some time. I enjoyed the fact that while reading it I had several "a-ha" moments, and found myself pondering what I'd read long after I finished reading.

One of the chapters is on what she calls "Pure Leadership." This is something I've thought a lot about recently, as I've been on the committee to find a principal for our high school. We've had 9 principals in the past 13 years. Not a very good track record. I feel that there are several reasons for this, and not all of them have to do with the principal. One is that our somewhat "rural" district can't afford to pay a principal what schools in the Phoenix area...another is that our district office can be (at times) a bit overbearing. (The staff at our school can be a bit overbearing as well.) We're a blue collar community and there are special circumstances and issues that come along with that type of town. Perhaps the previous principals just weren't up to the challenge.

We interviewed six candidates, and each was--literally--as different as night and day. Some gave textbook, "pat" answers. Some lacked that passion and desire we were all looking for. Some were nice people, but just didn't have that "special something."

The second candidate we interviewed was like a breath of fresh air. He came in with a lot of great ideas and youthful vigor. (I'm not being an "ageist" here, but we just didn't want someone who'd decided to come out of retirement for the 2nd time.) He had done his homework, and knew all about our school and community and knew the challenges he would face in coming here.

The other candidate we really liked is someone who has been the "interim" principal this year. She is an amazing person who has stuck it out at our high school for the past eight years--through the lean times. She is passionate about the students at our school and wants for them to succeed so badly. I have seen her step up to the plate so many times this year for the kids. It's been amazing to watch her grow.

Who gets the job? It's up to the superintendent and the board president to decide. We send our top two candidates and they interview them. We'll see... It's been an interesting process to be involved in and I'm glad that they asked me to be a part of it.

Anyway--back to Sheri Dew. I really enjoyed her chapter on leadership and plan to incorporate a lot of her ideas into my band leadership team next year.

My favorite quote from this chapter is:
"It's easy to spot Pure Leaders, because they help those who follow them to do more and see more and become more than they could ever do or see or become on their own. In addition, Pure Leaders realize that leadership isn't about them, it's about the people they serve. It's about the people they are called to lead."

She also lays out ten key qualities each leader must have:
1. A Pure Leader is humble. They recognize that all they have comes from God. They recognize that they need His help every step of the way.
2. A Pure Leader is fiercely devoted to a righteous cause.
3. A Pure Leader has faith in God. President Hinkley..."I believe that God will always make a way when their is no way."
4. A Pure Leader is someone you can trust. They tell the truth, they do what they say they will do, and they try to live what they believe.
5. A Pure Leader is willing to work. President Hinkley--"The only way I know to get anything done is to get on my knees and plead for help and then get on my feet and get to work."
6. A Pure Leader is optimistic--not only about the future, but about the people they lead.
7. A Pure Leader believes in and cares about people. Seeing others progress is their motive...it is what drives them.
8. A Pure Leader communicates. You can't build relationships if you don't communicate.
9. A Pure Leader has vision. They understand and respect what has come before, but can imagine things that are yet to be and push forward to make them a reality.
10. A Pure Leader has the strength to stand alone. President Hinkley--"The price of leadership is loneliness. The price of adherence to conscience is loneliness. The price of adherence to principle is loneliness. I think it is inescapable...But a man...has to live with his convictions...Unless he does so, he is miserable--dreadfully miserable.

I would like to make this into a list that's "non-LDS friendly" and give it to our new principal--whomever they end up being. She nailed everything on the head, and she found all of these examples in ancient and modern prophets. I am so grateful to have these great men in my life to show us the way.

Mean Girls

So, I never wanted this to happen.

My son is being picked on by a girl at school. A GIRL!! She's in his science class and makes his life hell.

She's taken his books, ripped up his papers, and calls him stupid.

Today, she went up behind him and kicked him in the butt. Well, she tried to kick him in the butt, but actually ended up kicking him closer to the solar plexus. Not cool. He said it was all he could do to not cry.

I found out today that she's the daughter of my principal's secretary. Nice. She belongs to this "clique" of girls who think they're better than everyone else. One of them is the daughter of our assistant superintendent, and others are kids of other district employees.

Ian is just a nice kid, trying to fit in. I try to dress him in "cool" clothes, he has nice hair, and showers daily. I think he's a pretty cute kid, and has a great sense of humor. This--in my opinion--goes above and beyond the "average" middle school kid.

Why him? Why anyone, really? What makes mean people decide to pick on one person over another? Throughout my career, I've seen kids get picked on, but they're usually the more "socially inept" kids. I was picked on as a kid because I was bald, but that's a given.

I just want to find this girl and ask her why--just so I can better understand. It's a mystery to me.

Oh, Spit!

So, I hate spit. Not a casual dislike--a deep seeded hatred for spit.

I know what you're thinking:

Why, why, why did she become a band director who deals in spit all day?

The answer? I don't know. For the money? (teehee)

When kids bring me their instruments to look at, and I get a whiff of their spit, I dry heave. Every time. The worst are trumpet players. You don't even want to KNOW what they're blowing into their horns. Yuck and yuck.

A couple of years ago, the regional honor band festival was held at Prescott High School. They have a tile floor in their band room. By the end of a long day of rehearsal, the floor was coated. You could have swam in it. (Well, not really...but it makes for a better visual.) I couldn't enter the room. I dry heave a little right now to think of it.

I'm a childhood cancer survivor who received treatment at the Children's Hospital of Orange County. As a result of this, I have the option of participating in St. Jude's Long Term Follow-Up Study. (LTFU for short.) I'm honored to do this--I hope that someday someone can learn something that will help.

Anyhoo...I've answered questionnaires, mostly about my current health and mental well-being. Yesterday I got a package from them asking for a saliva sample.

Now I'm not talking about a cheek swab--they wanted SPIT! I had to spit into this container to fill it to a certain line. It must have taken me 30 minutes, because I couldn't eat or drink anything to aid the process. My mouth was instantly dry. I had to fill this container half way up.

I hope my spit will help someone, because it made me ill! :)

Ode to the Saxophone

I really love playing the saxophone. (The saxophone above is my "dream" saxophone. A Cannonball "Hotspur" Big Bell Stone Series.)

I love how it sounds, I love the sound I make when I play it. I love playing saxophone with other great saxophonists. I love listening to great saxophonists. (My favorite--all time--still--is Charlie Parker. It has been since I was 14.)

I have been fortunate enough to play with and study with some of the greatest saxophone players around. I was VERY fortunate to be able to study with Ray Smith for seven years. I learned more from him than he could ever know. He taught me how to love music, and how to teach others to love it. I was also fortunate to be a part of Synthesis at BYU. I'll never forget the rush I felt when being on stage for the first time with them. I'd admired the band for so long, and to be a part of it was--literally--a dream come true.

When I graduated from BYU, my saxophone playing took a hiatus for a while. I didn't really start playing again until I moved to Prescott nine years ago. I first started playing with our community concert band, and I now play with our community college's big band. I can't describe how fun it is to play again. It's like coming home. Playing with the big band reminds me why I love music so much.

Tonight, Max Lopez (the lead alto player in the band) gave me the solo on "Angel Eyes," an alto feature ballad. It's a really cool piece--kind of a "guy walks into a bar" kind of a song. I really like playing ballads. The last one I remember playing was "Samantha" while on tour in Japan with Synthesis. Ballads allow me the opportunity to express emotion, demonstrate the tone and range of the saxophone and show beauty all at the same time. It was really cool. One lady came up to me afterwards and said she'd describe my playing as "chocolate mousse." My playing has never been described as a food before! :)

I was grateful for the opportunity to share my love of the saxophone and music tonight. I was glad that some of my students were there, my little family, and Josh and Kassie. It meant a lot to me to have them there.

Thanks, most of all, to my parents. I don't know where I'd be today if my dad hadn't taken me to Summerhayes Music during my 7th grade year to rent a saxophone. (Even if it was a "pity" thing--I had just split my head open!) Mom, thanks for being my chauffeur to and from lessons for years. I owe so much to both of you, and I hope I've done what I can to "pay it forward." I love you! :)

Relay for Life

Last night was our high school's annual "Relay for Life." This year I was asked to be the faculty sponsor and was also asked to be the survivor speaker. It was a great night...it got a little cold, and the jokes got a little inappropriate as the night (or should I say morning) went on, but we had so much fun and raise $7000 for a very worthy cause. Who says the "youth of today" are slackers? They are great kids who freely gave of themselves. I was so impressed.

Here is the speech I gave: (The specific details may be a bit off--I was only 6!) :)

"My seven year old daughter has been sick with a fever and cough for the past three days. Wednesday night I had a dream, which is weird for me, because I usually don’t remember my dreams. This dream woke me up in a panic. I dreamt that I took Courtnie to the doctor for her fever and, after running many tests, they discovered bone cancer in her right arm. In my dream, I was horrified. My heart broke for my sweet little girl and what she’d have to go through.

"This panic and fear must have been what my mom went through when she was told I had cancer 30 years ago. I was almost six years old and in the 1st grade when the school nurse called my mom to tell her that I was in her office with a high fever. My mom took me to our family doctor, who sent us on to other doctors, who sent us on to other doctors. It must have been a long and exhausting day for my mom. I can picture her face as she questions the doctors and wonders what is wrong with her little girl. The cancer was discovered when they were prepping me for an appendectomy. It is a blessing that they didn’t actually operate, because they might have spread the cancer cells.

"By the time I arrived at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, the dress that fit loosely on me in the morning was now very tight. The cancer was growing that fast. They took me into surgery immediately--even though it was 1:30 in the morning.
My parents and grandparents were in the waiting room when the surgeon came out to tell them that he removed two tumors--each the size of cantaloupes from my abdomen. One was sitting on top of my bladder and the other was underneath my left lung. He said they were the ugliest tumors he’d ever seen.

"The next day my parents met with my pediatric oncologist. The type of cancer I had is called rhabdomyosarcoma--essentially a soft tissue cancer. She laid out my course of treatments, which included two years of chemotherapy treatments, and six weeks of intensive radiation therapy. My parents knew that it would be a tough road, but that it was necessary.
I don’t remember very much about my hospital stays--I don’t know if I’ve blocked it out or if I was just too young to remember. I do remember glimpses of the interior of the hospital, the nurses who were so kind to me, and the tests.

"I would stay in the hospital two weeks out of every six weeks. Every morning I would get my finger pricked for a blood test. This test would make sure my white blood cell count was high enough for to withstand the chemotherapy. If all was good, I’d get my chemotherapy dose sometime in the afternoon. I had three different types of meds given to me—all would make me extremely nauseous. While they were injecting one of the meds through my IV, I would get a metallic taste in my mouth—like I was sucking on a rusty pipe. I remember throwing up a LOT.

"When I wasn’t in the hospital, my parents tried to let me have a normal life. “Normal” was kind of difficult when you’re a 6 year old with cancer. I didn’t have any hair on my head; I didn’t have eyebrows or eyelashes. I looked kind of freaky. I tried wearing wigs—they looked really attractive! J I tried hard to “cover up” the fact that I had cancer. 30 years ago, people didn’t understand cancer the way we do now. Parents wouldn’t let their kids play with me because they thought it was contagious. Kids made fun of me, and because I was sick most of the time, I couldn’t do much physically to keep up with them. It took me a long time to feel comfortable enough to tell others about my cancer experience. I didn’t want people to treat me differently.

"Thirty years ago, the survival rate for my type of cancer was less than 25%. No one told my mom that—she found it out by doing research on her own. Every time she would find out more about my cancer, it would frighten her. She did the best she could to keep a happy face while with me, but I know she was a nervous wreck on the inside. She was dealing with so much at this time. At the time, I was the oldest of four, and during my treatments, my mom and dad had my younger brother Josh. I can’t imagine trying to find sitters for my brothers and sister while taking me back and forth to the hospital—which was 2 hours away. All of this was taking place during the gas crisis of the late 1970s. Gas was in short supply, and lines to fuel up at gas stations would be extremely long. This presented a special hardship for a family that had to travel long distances for medical treatment.

"Another challenge presented itself when my mom’s mom was diagnosed with cancer about six months after I was. She had colon cancer, and the prognosis looked bleak. My grandma was great during this time. When I’d go to visit, she and I would compare “war stories,” and try to make each other happy. When I had about six months left of my treatments, she passed away. As you can imagine, this was a lot for my mom to bear.

"After the two years of treatments, I was finally able to grow my hair out. I thought it was interesting that I had really light blonde hair before it fell out, but it grew in a light brown. To me, it signified a change in my life. It has been said “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” The older I get, the more I realize how true this statement is. I know that the reason I am the person I am is because of my past and how I chose to deal with it. I didn’t choose to have cancer, but I chose how I was going to let it affect me.

"I’m still dealing with what they call the “late-term” effects of my cancer treatments. The radiation treatments that saved my life left me unable to have children. It also scarred my arteries pretty badly. Before I had stents put in a couple of years ago, I couldn’t walk more than 1/8 of a mile before my calves would burn. It turns out my aorta was blocked 70%--resulting in an extreme lack of blood flow to my legs. Recently, I had a cancerous tumor removed from my right kidney. My doctor believes this is also a result of the radiation I had 30 years ago. My dad keeps telling me to be grateful that I’m still here—alive and kickin’! Some days are better than others, but I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything.

"In spite—or perhaps because—of my experiences with cancer, I feel pretty lucky. Throughout it all, I have been blessed with wonderful parents, amazing doctors and great friends. Even though I am unable to have children, I was fortunate to adopt the two greatest kids in the world. I was lucky to find a wonderful man—who, by the way, was also adopted—who loves me in good times and bad.

"I am grateful to each of you for your dedication and sacrifice in this event. Sure—it’s going to be a fun night, and you’ve had fun putting it together, but there are a lot of your fellow classmates who are doing something else tonight. They are most likely doing something for them, and not necessarily thinking of others. You are here—giving of yourself for a worthy cause. I admire you for that. I hope that the good times you will have tonight and the good feeling you will get in raising money will inspire you to continue to help.

"It is my hope that through small and simple means—like one high school sponsoring a Relay for Life—that great things will come to pass. All of us have been or will be affected by cancer. It’s an ugly disease and has no concern for race, gender, economic status, or religious preference. If we can work together, I know that we can all make a difference, and the nightmare I had about my daughter won’t become a reality for anyone."

We laughed and laughed and tried to stay warm last night. I stayed up until 4:15--a new record for me. After that, I just coldn't take the wind and my heavy eyes any longer. I laid down in my tent and slept for about 45 minutes before Gordon came to pick me up. We then went right to Ian's wrestling tournament--I was so wiped out! :) We came home about 12:30 and I slept a few hours. Sleep never felt so good!

This is what a VERY tired Amie looks like:

Tired, but content! :)