Because It's Been a While...

One of my friends on Facebook (who happened to be one of my college roommates) nudged me the other day and told me that it was time to update my blog.

To be honest, I just haven't felt like it.  I received bad news once again on August 15, and between that and school starting without me, it's been rough. 

My viral count dropped from 1,300 to 720, but still not good enough.  I'm really tired of getting bad news followed by the phrase, "You're getting closer!"  Ugh!

Meanwhile, a few things have happened that have kept me going:

1.  At the end of July, I finally got a calling in our new ward.  I was called to be the Relief Society secretary.  This is a good fit for me, as it's not too demanding, but will keep me busy and involved.  I'm grateful to have something to do.

Our bishop called me the week before school started and asked if I'd be able to help a single mom who just moved here from Missouri.  She came to Prescott Valley with her three children and literally the clothes on their back and what they could fit in suitcases.  They took a Greyhound bus and are living with her mom.  She doesn't have a car and didn't have a job.  Her marriage fell apart after 20 years, and it sounds like she's had a rough life.  Of her entire family, she's the only one who attends church and is the only one to graduate from high school.

I was able to take her to buy clothes and school supplies.  While we shopped, she told me of her life's troubles and about her faith that things would turn around.  I was so impressed by her dedication to attending church, even if she had to walk every time. 

Growing up, my family didn't have a lot of money, and often received help from others.  It felt really good to be in a position that I could reciprocate that help.  Talking to her also made me realize that even though I am having health issues right now, I am truly blessed.  I came home with a happy heart and felt like things were looking up.  I was feeling pretty sorry for myself prior to this experience.  When talking to my mom, she told me to look for someone to help and that would help eliminate the "wallowing in pity."  I'm grateful that our bishop was inspired to ask me to help.

2.  The following Sunday, I was called to be the Stake Primary Music Leader.  I'm so excited for this calling.  During the 20 years Gordon and I have been married, I think I've been in the Primary 15 of those years.  I love the children, and music is such an important part of teaching the Gospel. 

3.  I've registered and enrolled in 9 credit hours of graduate courses in Human Relations/Educational Psychology.  Working towards a Master's degree is something I've been needing to do for a while, and I thought I might as well be productive in this year I'm off work.  The good news is that I don't start until October 24, and I'm doing all of the classwork online.  I'm REALLY hoping that I'll be post-transplant by then and can focus on the work.

4.  Ian is doing a great job getting up for seminary every morning.  He works hard at football from 2-6, then comes home and does homework before getting to bed.  Some days I know he's really tired, but he gets up at 5 am and is ready to go on time.  He's had some difficult health issues himself...we've tried treating these terrible warts on his fingers for a year or so now and finally gave up and took him to the dermatologist.  He's had three "freezing" treatments, and we're making progress, but each visit is so painful for him.  He's also been battling an ingrown toenail for about six weeks, and it eventually became pretty infected.  We took him to his pediatrician who sent us to a podiatrist.  It's looking 100% better, but the podiatrist told us it may come back.  We'll keep an eye on it.  It's been fun to be a football mom...we decorated the lockers before their first game this past Wednesday, and I enjoy being Gordon's cheerleader for a change. 

5.  Courtnie has started the fifth grade off well.  She's running for class representative on the student council at her school, and will find out on Monday how she did.  She's also started piano again and will be playing soccer for the first time starting next month.  She continues to be her goofy, silly self and makes me smile every day.

6.  The new band director at BMHS asked me to write the drill for the third song.  I agreed, and hope I can do a good job.  If it works out, maybe I can put myself out there as a drill writer.  I paid someone else $1000 to write our show last year...If I can write a few of those each year, it would help.  I'm not sure what next year will hold for me.  I can't anticipate any band director openings, so I'm not sure what I'll be doing.  I really don't want to sub for the rest of my life! :)

I've been reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin.  It has made me really evaluate how I act towards others and how I feel in general.  One of the "rules" she makes for herself is, "Act how you want to feel."  I never feel great, but I have found that when I smile and am happy, I tend to forget how lousy I feel.  It's something I'm going to try and work harder at, and I know it will help.  It hasn't been easy this week, as I've felt so incredibly lousy, but I'm starting to feel human again and am anxious to put her suggestions to work.

A couple of silly experiences with Ian:

1.  We were eating dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings last Friday.  The kids went and played a game that gave them a bouncy ball as a prize.  Ian and Courtnie were rolling it across the table, and that led to bouncing it across the table.  Ian remembered the "bounce the ball in the cup" challenge from the TV show "Minute to Win It."  He swears he didn't mean to do it, but with one bounce the ball ended up in Gordon's water cup.  We all laughed so hard...well, all of us but Gordon.

2.  The next night Ian loaded the dishwasher and started it up.  He then came in to my room and we were chatting, as we like to do just before bed.  After about 20 minutes, he went to bed, and on the way noticed that there was white foam all over our kitchen floor.  He had put dish washing detergent in BOTH cups of the dishwasher, along with the dishwasher tablet we use.  He thought we would be so proud of him for making the dishes extra clean.  Instead, Ian and I spent the next hour cleaning up soap bubbles that kept pouring out of the dishwasher.  After it ran a complete cycle, the bubbles subsided, and we were able to go to bed.  Ian was desperately sorry, but I thought it was a great bonding moment, and now he knows the difference between "dish washing" and "dishwasher" soap. :)

So, we're still playing the waiting game.  I get tested again on September 9, and should find out results on the 12th or 13th.  I continue to be hopeful.  After the last disappointing news, I told Gordon that if I could just understand WHY I must continue to wait, I would be okay.  I just don't get it, and don't know if I ever will.  I just have to continue to pray for strength to endure and the faith to accept what comes.