*Sigh*

In case you're just tuning in, we've had yet another delay.  This makes delay number 648,204 (or so it seems.)

In July, my brother Bill was here for testing to be my donor.  On the third day of testing, he got a phone call that he was not going to be able to donate as he had the same multiple artery issue that my sister Michelle had.  That same day my brother Andy called.  He said, "Word on the street is that you need a kidney."  :)

He was a perfect match for me, and came to Arizona for further testing.  He went through all four days of testing, and was told by a surgeon on the last day he was here that there shouldn't be a problem using his kidneys.  He was told that he had the same multiple artery issue, but that there was one artery that could work.  We would know for sure if he would be accepted the following Tuesday after the selection committee met.

We got a call on Tuesday and were told that the committee decided to try and find a better donor.  Andy would be a "plan B" if we couldn't find a better donor.  So--we were back to square one.

I had a few people ask for information on becoming my donor, and my Aunt Sarah is another perfect match. The next step is to see if she has the same artery issue that my siblings have.  I've fasted and prayed so hard that the perfect kidney would present itself.  Maybe this time--finally--will be it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in this, and it just gets so hard.  I just want so badly for this to be over with.  I would love to not have to go to dialysis anymore.  I would love to feel good and have energy to get through the day.  I'm tired of trying to be strong all of the time.  I try to keep a smile on my face and tell myself that it's going to be okay, but it gets tough sometimes.  I just found out that the October 31 surgery date I was hoping to keep is no longer possible.  It seems like every time we have to reschedule it ends up being another three months.  I just don't want to wait that long.

A couple of weeks ago, Gordon was called to be the executive secretary to our bishop and was set apart by our stake president.  While he was in the middle of the blessing, he stopped and said that he felt impressed to bless me through Gordon.  He said that through Gordon's service, I would be blessed and that my health would be restored.  This was a powerful testimony to me that my Heavenly Father knows me and my situation.  Even though it gets hard, I know that He is guiding me and has a plan for me.  Patience is hard, but I'm learning.