Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmastime is Here

Well, after that pity party...

We had a great Christmas. Gordon was so awesome--taking care of everything while I ordered him around from my throne/bed. I have the best husband a gal could ask for.

As much as I've been tired and sore this Christmas break, it's been a great excuse to stay home and hang with the family. I'm grateful for the time I've been able to spend with Ian and Courtnie. My favorite memory so far is snuggling with Courtnie and having a "totally movie day" last Saturday. It was great.

So, here's our present run-down:

Gordon--PJs, razor (hint-hint), Police DVD, sweatshirt, a yard (yes, a yard) of summer sausage
Amie--a new crock pot (Polly broke my last one), Seinfeld "Scene-It," a snuggly hoodie, an electric blanket (ahhh!) and PJs.
Ian--skateboard, "sky box" skate ramp, shirt, PJs, Cardinals calendar
Courtnie--IM-me, Littlest Pet Shop playset, shirt, PJs, Hannah Montana calendar
The kids also got a new trampoline.

We had brunch with Josh, Kassie and the kids and then went to their house for dinner...deep fried turkey--YUM! The best part was having them close enough to spend the holiday with them. We missed not going to Gordon's mom's this year...maybe for New Year's.

I'm just so happy that I got to have an amazing turkey sandwich the next day--that made my Christmas! :)

Wish you all lived closer...we miss you!

Woe is Me

Time for another pity party...
It's been two weeks since I had surgery to remove my kidney tumor and I'm still hurting pretty bad. I guess that's to be expected when you have an 8-inch incision on your right side. Never mind that my kidney is healing from having a golf-ball sized tumor taken out of it. I guess I'm probably doing better than most. I can get up and around and am not completely helpless... :) *just a little!*

Something has been bothering me since my surgeon told me that the tumor was cancerous. When I had cancer the first time, I was at the tail end of my treatments when a CT scan revealed that the cancer was back. My mom panicked and called in Elders from a local ward to give me a blessing. They blessed me that the cancer would leave my body, and that--according to my faith--I'd never have cancer again.

Since I've left the hospital, I've wondered what that all means in light of the fact that I, once again, have (or had) cancer. The great news is that removal of a kidney tumor is all the treatment required (90% of the time)--so hopefully I won't need radiation or chemotherapy treatments and it shouldn't grow back. But the fact still remains that there was cancer in my body again.

Have I not been faithful enough? Was this cancer another test for me? I know that (like all of us--well, maybe not Bill) we all have things we can do better, and I'm not saying that God is punishing me by giving me cancer again. But what does it mean? I don't know if anyone can answer this one. I'm sure it's bothered my mom, as she was witness to the blessing in the first place.

I go to see the surgeon again tomorrow and hopefully he'll be able to answer a few of my questions. Is this tumor a result of the radiation treatments I had? What kind of cancer was it? What kind of follow-up will I have?

I'm so grateful for the prayers and thoughts that have been offered on my behalf. I have felt them, and they have helped me so much when times were tough for me. I'm so grateful to have good friends and a great family. They are truly the best blessing I could ask for.