Where Did I Come From?

One of the greatest questions to ponder is the question, "Where did I come from?"  (I know...it ends in a preposition, but it sounds better this way.)

As I was falling asleep last night, and pondering my rather weepy day yesterday, a line from my patriarchal blessing came to my mind.  It tells me that before I came here, I knew my elder brother, Jesus Christ, and that I was present and active in the council in heaven.  This statement brought me a great deal of comfort, but I had to ask myself if I still knew my Savior.  I don't think I'm as close to Him as I could be.

For those of you not familiar with "Mormon Doctrine," I'll sum up what I'm referring to:

We believe that we consist of two separate entities: our spirits and our physical bodies.  Our spirits are literally the offspring of our Father in Heaven.  We lived with Him before we were given an opportunity to come to earth and get a physical body (through the conception/birth process.)  Because we are all spirit children of our Heavenly Father, we are all related--spiritually speaking.  This includes our brother, Jesus Christ as well as Satan, who was also a spirit son of our Heavenly Father.  (Not to get on a side topic, but other Christian denominations call us a "cult" because we believe this...oh, well.)

Before we came to earth, Heavenly Father presented a plan that included us coming to earth, being tempted, and having wonderful and trying experiences.  This could only happen if we came to earth and had a physical body.  A key element in this plan is our choice to do good or evil.  Because He knew we would make mistakes, he wanted to provide for us a Savior, who would suffer for our sins so that we could ask for forgiveness and be made whole again.  The eventual goal for all of us is to return to live with our Father again.

Both Satan and Jesus Christ were present at this meeting, as were we all.  Satan spoke up and said that he wanted to force everyone to choose good, and thereby ensuring that all of us would be able to return to His presence.  Satan also believed that he should receive the credit/glory for getting us all back.

Jesus spoke second, and said that He would go, and would do the Father's will and that the glory and honor would go to the Father, as Jesus wanted none of it for himself.

When our Father chose Jesus to be our Savior, Satan became angry and was dismissed from Father's presence.  He left, and took one-third of the spirit children with him.  Because these spirits chose to follow Satan, they never got the opportunity to gain a body.  I believe that they are extremely jealous of us, and do all they can to make us miserable like them.

Our Savior came to earth, gained a body, and had some amazing experiences.  Some were so beautiful and spiritual that we may can't comprehend them.  Some were equally painful and difficult.  We have been taught that He had to suffer everything so that He could understand our suffering.  As bad as I think I have it sometimes, I need to remember that there is One who understands exactly what I am going through.  He has been through it, and will be there with me every step of the way and through every tear.

I know I've posted this hymn in the past, but it is one of my favorites, and it has brought me so much peace.

Where can I turn for peace?

Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When, with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows?
Where, when I languish?
Where, in my need to know?
Where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately.
Reaches my reaching.
In my Gethsemane, Savior, and friend.
Gentle, the peace He finds
For my beseeching.
Constant He is, and kind.
Love without end.

I know that in my own little Gethsemane, I can find peace and solace for my aching heart in one place.  I will forever be grateful for Him, and seek to develop a better relationship.