Tuesday

I apologize for the lack of creativity in the title of this post.  Since this will contain several thoughts, I just didn't know what to call it.

I've recently started painting my fingernails.  One could call it a minor obsession.  I never used to do this because the polish would start to chip and I'd spend the next few days chipping away at the remaining polish.   I was never satisfied with the way it looked--every wrinkle, bubble, or fingerprint would annoy me to no end.

I wish there was some sort of trick for achieving the perfectly polished fingernail.  I know--I could spend money and go get them done somewhere, but most nail techs kind of freak me out.  It's nothing personal.  Also, I don't really like to go somewhere and try to be friendly to someone I don't know while they "service" my nails.

So, I guess I'll suffer through polishing, not being satisfied, taking polish off, re-polishing...lather, rinse, repeat.

I have a Stake Primary leadership meeting on Thursday, and I'm in charge of a 30-minute break-out session with the Primary choristers.  I've tried to contact each of them, because I want them all to bring an idea to share.  Only three of the eight have returned emails, texts, or phone calls.  Frustrating.  One of them commented that she's having a hard time getting the children to behave.  This is a difficult issue for many, and I hope that I will be able to share some thoughts and ideas that will help.

I've been feeling pretty lousy the last several days.  I just don't seem to have any energy, and I am so exhausted all of the time.  Last Friday's dialysis was the worst it's been in a long time.  I dry heaved and vomited nearly the entire time.  When my stomach is upset I have to ask someone to take me off of the dialysis machine so I can use the bathroom.  This process takes at least five minutes, as they have to rinse all of my blood back and unhook everything.  When you're sick, this five minutes is an eternity.

I came home and slept the rest of the day and night.  Saturday and Sunday I stayed in bed with an upset stomach.  I wasn't able to eat much and just didn't have any energy.  I hated missing church, but I just couldn't do it.  As I was falling asleep Sunday night, the words to the song, "O Divine Redeemer" came to my mind.  As they ran through my mind, they became like a prayer for me.


Ah, turn me not away, receive me though unworthy. 
Ah, turn me not away, receive me though unworthy. 
Hear Thou my cry, hear Thou my cry, 
Behold, Lord, my distress! 

Answer me from Thy throne, 
Haste Thee, Lord, to mine aid! 
Thy pity show in my deep anguish, Thy pity show in my deep anguish. 
Let not the sword of vengeance smite me, 
Though righteous Thine anger, O Lord! 

Shield me in danger, O regard me! 
On Thee, Lord, alone will I call! 

As I approach this busy and important week, I know that I will need His help.  My prayer Sunday night became a plea to give me strength to do what needed to be done.  I woke up Monday morning feeling a little better, and actually felt pretty good after dialysis.  I'm still tired, but I'm able to eat a little again, and my strength is returning.  I'm so grateful.