Finito!

I just finished writing the last sets of the last song of our marching show for this year.

This is a big deal for a girl with NO drill writing skills whatsoever... I'm simply trying it out (well, I have been "trying it out" for the past three years to varying degrees of success.) Sometimes I suffer from "drill writer's block" and other times the ideas flow feverishly. I guess that's the way most writers feel.

Now, if the kids can just learn the sets in ONE week, we'll be sitting pretty. Nothing like waiting until the last minute! :)

Same S***, Different Day

It's time for my yearly check-up with my vascular surgeon at the Arizona Heart Hospital. I really like my surgeon (Dr. Wheatley)...he's genuinely interested in my case, and listens to what I have to say.

So, I needed a CT scan, which for me means some heavy duty Benadryl and Prednizone. Both of which make me VERY tired and VERY spacey. Luckily, they didn't give me an additional IV dose of the drugs, as I would be in bed right now.

The CT scan showed that the stent in my aorta is starting to develop build up again. Not good news. Dr. Wheatley said that it's not bad enough that we need to do something about it right now, but that we definitely need to watch it closely. He wants to see me back in two months.

Two thoughts come to mind:

1. When is this going to end?
2. If it's "starting" to look bad, why wait until it IS bad before doing something about it?

Of course, both of these questions come to me after I've left the hospital, as I'm too loopy to ask him anything while I'm hopped up on Benadryl. (Maybe that's why they do it...) :)

I'm grateful for my husband who just sits and listens to me complain about all of it and just offers words of encouragement and support. He doesn't judge, he doesn't tell me to "suck it up," he just says "I know, I know" and, "We'll get through it." He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

All right--enough complaining for tonight. I'm "manning up" right now. (Promise!)

Promises fulfilled

I had a great day Saturday.

We woke up early (much to Courtnie's chagrin) and travelled to Camp Verde for Ian's last "off season" wrestling tournament. He did a great job. He's learning so much and is having a great time.

We then booked it home so that I could get ham in the oven for a funeral in the afternoon. (Note to family members: I DO NOT want ham and cheesy potatoes for my funeral. Pick something fun, like pizza.) I got to the church, hams in tow, to prepare for the funeral. The joys of being in the RS presidency. The family was very grateful, and all was well.

At 4:30, we had a BBQ at the church for a friend who was getting baptized. It was actually the husband of a friend. They have been married for ten years, and she has been patiently awaiting the day when he would make the decision to be baptized. To my knowledge, she hasn't pushed or badgered, she's just quietly hoped and prayed. He's such a good man...a wonderful husband and father, and it was so neat to see her prayers answered.

It affected me a lot, as it reminded me of another promise that was fulfilled when we sat in the Salt Lake temple and witnessed a special sealing. Gordon and I were promised that the Lord would take care of this person, and He has.

Both of these occasions bear testimony to me that the Lord knows each one of us and knows the righteous desires of our hearts. I am so grateful that He listens to our prayers and wants so much for us to be happy. I know that it's not always going to be easy, but it will always be worth it.

On another side note--I went to my first physical therapy session today. I can see already how it's going to help me so much. He said that the big problem is not necessarily my lower back but my pelvis and my hip flexors. They are so tight (from everything being so small and the overcompensation issues) that it's causing stress on just about everything in that area. He gave me some stretches to do and a shock therapy back massage (which was heavenly) and sent me on my way. It's going to be great... We'll see how I feel tomorrow! :)

A-ha and ??? moments...

So, after my last post I was thinking and thinking about what I could do differently to teach drill. It didn't go well on Tuesday, and I was discouraged.

I was looking around my office Wednesday afternoon for something to read while sitting and waiting for Ian and Courtnie at their piano lessons and I found two issues of The Instrumentalist that I hadn't read. Cool.

One of the articles in one of the issues was an interview with a college director from Texas somewhere. He talked about how he teaches drill, and it was amazing! Rather than trying to get students to remember 4 sets of drill at a time, he has them learn one, then they go back and forth between those sets five times to reinforce it. He said he'll spend 10 minutes on one set of drill. The big trick was to give 30 seconds to find the new drill spot, then 10 seconds to reset the form after each run-through.

Before rehearsal today, I told the students that we were going to try something different in reviewing/learning the drill. They were pretty receptive, but hesitant at first, but then were so excited once we got the hang of it. We were able to learn and clean 15 sets of drill today in 2 hours. This may not sound huge, but for us it was enormous! Not only were the spots learned, but I'm sure they'll be retained much better this way, and the best part is that the kids all felt like we accomplished something. I was so happy.

Now for my ??? moment...

I've been having problems walking and with my legs in general. As I said in a previous post, my symptoms all pointed to spinal stenosis. I had an MRI, and all it said was that I had arthritis in my back. Well, crap. That doesn't help me at all. My friend Katie's dad is a physical therapist and offered to talk to me about my symptoms. With all of my history and issues I've had, it made sense. We talked about some things while he was here, and then he called me with some other possibilities yesterday.

I called my doctor's office to run these other possibilities by them, and they all said that the radiologist said I only have arthritis. This doesn't really explain my neurological symptoms (numbness after walking a while.) Their only explanation is that perhaps the muscles in my lower back are causing pinched nerves. The PT I talked to said that's not very likely. My doctor gave me an order for physical therapy, which I'm hoping will help. Now, when I'm going to have time to actually GO to physical therapy is a different story.

I'm going to my vascular surgeon in Phoenix next week to see if there's any more blockages. That might also account for the pain in my legs while walking, as the symptoms are very similar. I'll have a CT scan and find out. I was walking Tuesday morning and by the time I got back to my office I was almost crying because my left calf hurt so bad.

I just want answers, and not more questions.

Random Thoughts

I have a confession to make.

I skipped work today. I could have gone. I should have gone.

But I didn't.

And MAN, OH MAN did it feel good!

I came home early from school yesterday and slept...just wasn't feeling great. I woke up this morning feeling "blah" again, so I called in. And then I slept some more.

I managed to make it to rehearsal tonight, which brings me to my random thoughts writings...

Sometimes I wonder what I can do differently to make things better. Wait, I know...that's a pretty broad statement. I want the band to be all it can be...all I know it can be. I'm struggling with how to get them to that point.

I went to a leadership workshop with some of my leaders this past Saturday and the speaker said something that makes a lot of sense to me. He said that, as a teacher, he can fix wrong notes, bad posture, incorrect marching technique, and a host of other things, but he can't fix "I don't care." It's kind of like the adage that you can "bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I can't motivate students to excel more than they choose to excel.

The only thing standing between them and greatness is them.

I've done the "heart to heart" talks, I've threatened them with bad grades, not marching Friday's game, and begged them to do more. Some do, some don't. What makes the difference? I wish I knew. (But then again, I'd have the monopoly on what makes a teenager "tick," and WHO on earth wants THAT???)

We have 20 more hours of rehearsal until our first competition. We need to learn 20 pages of drill in that time. The time has come to move.

Freedom isn't free...

This post isn't going to be about what the title suggests, although that would be a good blog entry.

I had an exceptional group of seniors graduate last year. Twenty-five of them, to be exact, and I cared very much for each one of them. They were my second group of students to be with me all four years, and we had a very close relationship. I know what each one of them is doing, and I'm so proud of their choices in attending college, joining the armed forces, or working to save money for future endeavors.

I just read a post on Facebook today that made me sad.

One of my students is attending NAU on a music scholarship. He wants to be a band director. He posted on one of my other students a comment about her photos. She's posting the typical "girl" photos--her room, going to eat, etc. He commented that she should see one of his photos...he said it's pretty incriminating. He said he was dressed like a pirate with a beer bong in one hand and a tequila in the other.

Stupid.

This kid has had things handed to him his whole life. He had a family that supported him in music--provided lessons for every instrument he wanted to learn, encouraged him to practice, and made sure he did all of the things he was supposed to do. He was always a little arrogant of his talent, but was a good kid and a good leader last year.

I just can't fathom why people think they can't have fun without getting drunk or high. I've had a great life--filled with lots of experiences and joys--without once touching alcohol, drugs or tobacco. For me, being in band and performing was all the "high" I needed. I just wish I could convince more people of that.

(I'm chatting with one of my other former students online right now and he just said, "People who say you can't have fun without alcohol have never sat next to the clarinet section!")

I know that I'm just one person in their life, and that they will have many other influences. I also am not so naive to think that they won't ever drink--it's too prevalent in our society. I just wish they would have the brains to wait a while. Too many of them get out of the house and think that they're free, but freedom comes at a cost, and sometimes the cost can be great.

Whenever I think of drinking, I always think of Gordon's dad who's life was completely changed by a drunk driver. Gordon's dad was so full of life--athletic, strong, and charismatic. One poor choice by one person changed all of that. I wish I could change all of that.

I am content at times to think that maybe the way I am and the choices I make will affect one of my students who, in turn, can affect many others. I'm hoping that poor decisions can be avoided--or at least postponed a while.

I've been asked a few times in my life what would make me the happiest. If I had one wish, it would be for my own children and my students to make good choices and be happy. This may sound a little "Pollyanna-ish," but I believe with all of my heart that one leads to the other. When you make good choices--even though they may seem restrictive at the time, they really open up doors and give us more opportunities. You limit yourself exponentially when you make poor choices in life.

Amazing!

We had an exceptional practice tonight. It was our first evening practice, and our leadership team was dedicated 100% to demand perfection from the band.

It probably doesn't hurt too much that our first football game is this Friday. It's also amazing how kids seem to step it up when they know they're under the gun. We're going to perform the first two songs of our four song set Friday, and that's a record for us. (We usually only perform the first song at the first game.) I really want to have songs under our belt early this year so we're not panicked getting in to our first competition.

It also helped a lot to be able to use Josh's laptop tonight. I was able to review the animation of the drill and help students know which way to move. I can't believe that I've been teaching high school band for five years and I just now thought to get a laptop. It's going to make things so much easier!! **Thanks, Josh!**

I'm cooking pizza in the oven right now and it's dripping onto the oven floor. I hate that. Now the pizza will taste like burnt smoke. Oh well. Next time I'll do something different. :)