I'm not sure I'm going to make it.
Every time I go to dialysis I get sick. I feel nauseous and exhausted all of the time. I'm so tired of feeling this way.
Last night I puked and puked and was so tired.
Gordon looked at me this morning and asked if I can wait for my transplant until December. I'm not sure that I can. I think that perhaps the thing that's making it harder is that I know another option is out there. Now that Michelle is a match, it's killing me to have to wait.
The problem is that I don't have ANYONE to take over marching band right now, and I just can't leave them high and dry. I did that last year when I thought it wouldn't make a difference, and it just about drove me insane. I felt so bad leaving the kids, and to them, this is their most important time. I just wish I could clone myself and be in two places at once.
I just need to be done with all of this.
2 comments:
Hugs, my friend. I wish I could take it from you. You amaze me. You are incredibly strong and always have a smile and happy outlook even when things are dark within. The light is at the end of the tunnel and you are ready to sprint. :-) He knows your need and to your weakness is no stranger. His blessing will come... in His time. We're all praying that His time is sooner. <3
So sorry sister. If I could be 1/2 the band director you are, I'd be there in a heartbeat! All I can say is pray, and decide what is best for YOU!
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