I've been taking my blood pressure a couple of times a day for the past week or so. I was just curious if my kidney issues would affect my blood pressure, and sure enough--they have. My blood pressure has been hovering around 160/100 (normal is 120/80.) SO...I made an appointment with my primary care doctor.
I really love her. She is always concerned about me when I come in and is (or at least seems to be) genuinely interested in me being well. When she came in today, she took a look at my chart, which reflected my current blood pressure issue and said, "Oh-oh!"
I told her about my aorta/renal artery issue and asked for advice. She looked me in the eye and asked me why we were even talking about it. She told me that I'm only 36, and need to be healthy. She said she could tell just by looking at me that I was tired and not feeling well, which is true about 80% of the time.
We talked about how remarkable it is to live today, when so much can be done to help someone in my situation. She said that I should stop doing the "temporary fixes" and do something that will give a better quality of life. I couldn't agree more.
It feels good to have someone reaffirm what I already was feeling. I trust her opinion, and value her input. It gives me more to talk about when I go see the vascular surgeon next week. Solutions, people! Solutions!!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Random Thoughts for a Monday
It's raining/snowing--I'm calling it slushing right now. I had a concert with the community college big band I play with, but found out it was cancelled AFTER I drove there. NICE! They cancel things here for 1/2 inch of snow on the ground. On the one hand, I'm glad for the cancellations, as people here DO NOT know how to drive in snow. On the other hand, I was looking forward to playing tonight. (I had a few solos...)
Saturday Ian had a wrestling tournament. He is doing so well. He ended up taking 1st place in his weight class. This is something he's been gunning for since he's started wrestling, and I'm so proud that he's been able to accomplish this goal. He's a great kid, and so strong and athletic. He is amazing to me.
On the way to the wrestling tournament, my nose started bleeding. I get bloody noses occasionally--but haven't had one for several years. This nose bleed was scary because it would not stop. Every time I would try to take the tissue away to see if had stopped, it just kept dripping out. Gordon had me use some of the wrestler's "stop nosebleed stuff" and finally--one hour later--it stopped bleeding. This nose bleed lasted two hours. I'm sure it's a result of the Plavix and aspirin I'm taking, but it scared me a bit. I think I lost quite a bit of blood, because I didn't feel so hot after.
We had the Christmas parade in Prescott on Saturday as well. I really don't care for parades--don't see the point, but people like them, so whatever. :)
I have two concerts with my students this week. Orchestra, jazz band and percussion ensemble play tomorrow night and jazz band and concert band play Thursday night. I'm looking forward to them, but also looking forward to having them over with, too. It's a lot of stress!
I think I've decided that (unless the surgeon has a better suggestion) I'm going to have my aorta replaced this summer. I can't live like this anymore. My legs hurt so bad when I walk. I want to be healthy and in good shape, and I can't be either in this condition. I'm ready.
Saturday Ian had a wrestling tournament. He is doing so well. He ended up taking 1st place in his weight class. This is something he's been gunning for since he's started wrestling, and I'm so proud that he's been able to accomplish this goal. He's a great kid, and so strong and athletic. He is amazing to me.
On the way to the wrestling tournament, my nose started bleeding. I get bloody noses occasionally--but haven't had one for several years. This nose bleed was scary because it would not stop. Every time I would try to take the tissue away to see if had stopped, it just kept dripping out. Gordon had me use some of the wrestler's "stop nosebleed stuff" and finally--one hour later--it stopped bleeding. This nose bleed lasted two hours. I'm sure it's a result of the Plavix and aspirin I'm taking, but it scared me a bit. I think I lost quite a bit of blood, because I didn't feel so hot after.
We had the Christmas parade in Prescott on Saturday as well. I really don't care for parades--don't see the point, but people like them, so whatever. :)
I have two concerts with my students this week. Orchestra, jazz band and percussion ensemble play tomorrow night and jazz band and concert band play Thursday night. I'm looking forward to them, but also looking forward to having them over with, too. It's a lot of stress!
I think I've decided that (unless the surgeon has a better suggestion) I'm going to have my aorta replaced this summer. I can't live like this anymore. My legs hurt so bad when I walk. I want to be healthy and in good shape, and I can't be either in this condition. I'm ready.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
In My Quiet Moments
The dishwasher is running, my comforter is in the washer. Courtnie is at play practice, Gordon and Ian are at wrestling practice. (No, Gordon doesn't wrestle...silly!) I'm home alone for a bit--it's kind of nice, but VERY quiet.
I was speaking with a friend yesterday about my health issues. (I'm not going to call them problems...they're just "issues.") She is also a cancer survivor--I believe she had breast cancer around three years ago. She's doing well now...a happy, healthy, spiritual person. I love her dearly.
We talked about quiet moments yesterday and how the adversary works on us during those times. It's easy to not get sidetracked with doubts when we're busy, but the times when we're quiet and alone are when he really goes to work. I thought maybe if I wrote some of those doubts down I could let them go.
In my quiet moments I wonder if a body that doesn't work like it should is worth it.
In my quiet moments I wonder what other's lives would be like if I wasn't here.
In my quiet moments I wonder if the doctors are doing the right thing.
In my quiet moments I wonder if I'm going to be around and able to walk with my kids at their graduations, weddings, births of children...
In my quiet moments I wonder what it would have been like to not have had cancer.
In my quiet moments I wonder if my depression is related to my health issues.
In my quiet moments I wonder if my kids worry about me. Are they scared?
In my quiet moments I wonder if my husband is sick of me.
In my quiet moments I wonder what it feels like to feel normal.
In my quiet moments I wonder if the reasons I wasn't ever able to do physical activities like others could had anything to do with my aorta and the blood flow. How long has it been like this?
In my moments times I wonder if I had been born today if I'd be dealing with the side effects I have now.
In my quiet moments I wonder if everyone is sick of hearing me talk about my issues.
In my more confident moments I know that I have a wonderful life...full of happy and joyful things. I have an amazing family. I have the best job in the world. I know that I am the person I am today because of the fights I've had to go through.
At Thanksgiving, one of Gordon's aunts told me that I need to take better care of myself. She told me that I need to get a golf cart and ride around in that all of the time. I smiled politely and said, "No, I can't do that."
I can't give up. Getting a golf cart would be giving up. It would be letting the cancer win. I refuse. In my quiet moments, I sometimes wonder if it would be better to give up...it would definitely be easier.
But that's not why we're here. It ain't easy, baby!
I was speaking with a friend yesterday about my health issues. (I'm not going to call them problems...they're just "issues.") She is also a cancer survivor--I believe she had breast cancer around three years ago. She's doing well now...a happy, healthy, spiritual person. I love her dearly.
We talked about quiet moments yesterday and how the adversary works on us during those times. It's easy to not get sidetracked with doubts when we're busy, but the times when we're quiet and alone are when he really goes to work. I thought maybe if I wrote some of those doubts down I could let them go.
In my quiet moments I wonder if a body that doesn't work like it should is worth it.
In my quiet moments I wonder what other's lives would be like if I wasn't here.
In my quiet moments I wonder if the doctors are doing the right thing.
In my quiet moments I wonder if I'm going to be around and able to walk with my kids at their graduations, weddings, births of children...
In my quiet moments I wonder what it would have been like to not have had cancer.
In my quiet moments I wonder if my depression is related to my health issues.
In my quiet moments I wonder if my kids worry about me. Are they scared?
In my quiet moments I wonder if my husband is sick of me.
In my quiet moments I wonder what it feels like to feel normal.
In my quiet moments I wonder if the reasons I wasn't ever able to do physical activities like others could had anything to do with my aorta and the blood flow. How long has it been like this?
In my moments times I wonder if I had been born today if I'd be dealing with the side effects I have now.
In my quiet moments I wonder if everyone is sick of hearing me talk about my issues.
In my more confident moments I know that I have a wonderful life...full of happy and joyful things. I have an amazing family. I have the best job in the world. I know that I am the person I am today because of the fights I've had to go through.
At Thanksgiving, one of Gordon's aunts told me that I need to take better care of myself. She told me that I need to get a golf cart and ride around in that all of the time. I smiled politely and said, "No, I can't do that."
I can't give up. Getting a golf cart would be giving up. It would be letting the cancer win. I refuse. In my quiet moments, I sometimes wonder if it would be better to give up...it would definitely be easier.
But that's not why we're here. It ain't easy, baby!
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Battle for Blood
*Begin playing "Rocky" theme music here*
In this corner...weighing in at (insert amount here), wearing typical schoolteacher clothing, Amie "Cobbie" Cobb
And in this corner...weighing in at a less than a pound, wearing a stent that doesn't work anymore...Amie's aorta.
It's become a fight to the finish, and right now, my blood vessels are losing.
Two years ago I had a stent put in my aorta, which at the time was 75% blocked. I was having severe claudication issues (cramping when walking.) The stent helped dramatically and I was doing great. I had a stent put in my left renal artery about six months later, because it was not getting enough blood flow.
About six months ago, I started noticing that my claudication issues were back. I can't walk from the band room to the football stadium without having to stop and rest my legs. They cramp up so badly. I went for a check up with my vascular surgeon who said to come back again in a couple of months. I think I talked about this in previous posts. Sorry if you're bored...
So, the prognosis wasn't good after having an ultrasound and we scheduled a "lookie-see" into what was going on with my vascular system. Turns out it's not good news...
1. My renal artery is completely blocked. The stent failed, and my artery is just plain blocked. This means my left kidney will eventually lose function and die.
2. The stent in my aorta is also failing. They did an angioplasty and blew it open a bit (with a miniature balloon) for the time being. I'm also on Plavix and asprin to thin my blood and hopefully increase the flow a bit better to my legs.
I go and see the doc again in a couple of weeks. We'll see what he has to say.
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Role of a Righteous Woman
An article I wrote for our ward newsletter:
I love being a woman. I cherish the attributes that make me different than men. I am grateful for the divine nature that is within each one of us as daughters of God. The first sentence of the Relief Society Declaration states that “We are beloved spirit daughters of God.” President James E. Faust said, “To be a daughter of God means that you are offspring of Deity, literal descendants of the Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential.”
I am grateful for the examples of strong, righteous women throughout history. They have truly been—at times—the “unsung heroes” of the work of the Lord. I love reading about Eve, Sarah, Rachel, Emma Smith, Lucy Mack Smith and countless others. Their strength and courage in the face of adversity pushes me forward when I face struggles in my own life.
I also look to my own mother who raised seven children through many hardships. Growing up, we didn’t ever have a lot of money, but my mom worked very hard to see that the needs of her children were met. She would babysit, sew, and do whatever she needed to do to bring in money. She did all of this while being a great example to me of service to others.
There is no end to the influence of women. Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in April 1978 conference said this: “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.”
I pray that each one of us will recognize our divine potential. As women, we have an innate spiritual sense that allows us to trust in the Lord more fully. As we trust, we will find the joy in being a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a wife.
I love being a woman. I cherish the attributes that make me different than men. I am grateful for the divine nature that is within each one of us as daughters of God. The first sentence of the Relief Society Declaration states that “We are beloved spirit daughters of God.” President James E. Faust said, “To be a daughter of God means that you are offspring of Deity, literal descendants of the Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential.”
I am grateful for the examples of strong, righteous women throughout history. They have truly been—at times—the “unsung heroes” of the work of the Lord. I love reading about Eve, Sarah, Rachel, Emma Smith, Lucy Mack Smith and countless others. Their strength and courage in the face of adversity pushes me forward when I face struggles in my own life.
I also look to my own mother who raised seven children through many hardships. Growing up, we didn’t ever have a lot of money, but my mom worked very hard to see that the needs of her children were met. She would babysit, sew, and do whatever she needed to do to bring in money. She did all of this while being a great example to me of service to others.
There is no end to the influence of women. Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in April 1978 conference said this: “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.”
I pray that each one of us will recognize our divine potential. As women, we have an innate spiritual sense that allows us to trust in the Lord more fully. As we trust, we will find the joy in being a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a wife.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Gobble Gobble
I'm not going to be able to go to Utah for Thanksgiving. I'm bummed.
I went for a follow-up to my previous follow-up on my stents, and they're worse. (Funny how I knew that two months ago!!)
The doctor isn't sure until he gets in to my aorta why this is happening. Two possible reasons:
1. My aorta is squeezing the heck out of the stent because it just keeps hardening
2. The stent is getting gunked up. (This happens with stents about 25% of the time.)
It could also be a combination of the two.
Tuesday I'm going to go to the Arizona Heart Hospital (again) and have things checked out. Two possible outcomes:
1. Insert new stents
2. Roto-rooter these stents and do an angioplasty to open them up.
He's going to have to look at/fix both the stent in my aorta and in left renal artery as both showed blood flow at less than 50%. Fun, huh?
So--stent procedure Tuesday, hospital until Wednesday then at Gordon's mom's for Turkey Day. At least it will be warm! :)
I went for a follow-up to my previous follow-up on my stents, and they're worse. (Funny how I knew that two months ago!!)
The doctor isn't sure until he gets in to my aorta why this is happening. Two possible reasons:
1. My aorta is squeezing the heck out of the stent because it just keeps hardening
2. The stent is getting gunked up. (This happens with stents about 25% of the time.)
It could also be a combination of the two.
Tuesday I'm going to go to the Arizona Heart Hospital (again) and have things checked out. Two possible outcomes:
1. Insert new stents
2. Roto-rooter these stents and do an angioplasty to open them up.
He's going to have to look at/fix both the stent in my aorta and in left renal artery as both showed blood flow at less than 50%. Fun, huh?
So--stent procedure Tuesday, hospital until Wednesday then at Gordon's mom's for Turkey Day. At least it will be warm! :)
Riding the Yellow Dog
Our football team has made the playoffs. This isn't really anything new--we've made the playoffs for the past few years. We usually lose in the first round, so it's not a big deal.
This year, we won the first playoff game, so our entire town is in a tizzy. Our first game was against a team we'd lost to in the regular season, so it was nice to win, and we won on their field. Very cool.
This next game is in Vail, AZ. About a five hour drive from Prescott Valley. Ouch! We played in southern Arizona two years ago and lost pretty badly. The football coach thinks it's because we took a five hour bus ride and then had to go and play right after.
This year, he's decided to "do it right." They've chartered NICE coach buses to leave today (Thursday--the game is tomorrow) and they're staying the night in Tucson. What they're doing tomorrow all day, I don't know. I do know they're eating at the Olive Garden for an early dinner before the game.
Who's paying for all of this? The football boosters, who somehow manage to raise over $20,000 a year. I can't figure out how they do this. My band boosters squeak out around $5000 a year, and that's in a good year.
This just seems like a waste to me. I'm sure that this trip is costing the boosters somewhere in the neighborhood of $5000 for a ONE night trip. I understand that this is a big game, but it's ONE NIGHT! Do you know what I could do with $5000? I could buy a tuba that I desperately need...I could buy sheet music for my pathetic library...the list could go on forever.
I understand that things will NEVER be equal...I get it. I do. I'm married to the "enemy" (so to speak) who sees the other side more clearly than I do. His philosophy is that if they raise the money, they should be able to spend it how they see fit. Meanwhile, our school is in desperate need of textbooks, kids are coming to school without coats, and I need a new tuba! :)
The band is going down to support the team, but guess what we're riding in?
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