Thursday, June 4, 2009

There's all this dough, see...and it's buried under this big W

I'm a teacher, for those of you who don't know.

One of the most challenging parts of my job has nothing to do with actual "teaching." I get paid every other week, like most people. The challenging part comes in at the end of the school year, when I get one lump sum check for the five paychecks I would normally get over the summer. It's a huge amount of money (well, huge for me...) and making it last over the summer has been a difficulty for our family.

So, today I went and picked up my five paychecks, my performance pay, and a little bit of my stipend money. It all totals a little less than $9000. This sounds like a lot of money, and it is, but for some reason we always end up eating pancakes for dinner the weeks before I get paid again.

I've been teaching for fourteen years now and have yet to figure out a way to make it work. Some teachers put their entire check into a savings account and "pay" themselves every two weeks. Gordon's mom used to pay all of her car payments, mortgage, etc. for the three months up front and then live off the rest--sparingly. We've tried this method for the past little while and it just doesn't seem to work for us.

This year, Gordon and I decided that we would pay our tithing and bills up front, then go to Costco and create a 3-month supply. We don't have a year's supply yet, and we figured this would be a great way to try this out. We're going to make a month of menus and purchase everything we need to get through the next three months. As this is an experiment, we may not be completely successful, but it will be a great "trial run." Our hope is that we can then just continue to add on to what we have done and get more storage together.

Today, I'm grateful for our inspired church leadership that encourages us to be frugal and to live within our means. Gordon's mom has a famous saying that drives him crazy, but it applies very well today--"It's not necessary."

I love Elder Hales' talk about Provident Living at the past conference. Here's an excerpt:

"What is a provident provider?

"All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.
Being provident providers, we must keep that most basic commandment, “Thou shalt not covet” (Exodus 20:17). Our world is fraught with feelings of entitlement. Some of us feel embarrassed, ashamed, less worthwhile if our family does not have everything the neighbors have. As a result, we go into debt to buy things we can’t afford—and things we do not really need. Whenever we do this, we become poor temporally and spiritually. We give away some of our precious, priceless agency and put ourselves in self-imposed servitude. Money we could have used to care for ourselves and others must now be used to pay our debts. What remains is often only enough to meet our most basic physical needs. Living at the subsistence level, we become depressed, our self-worth is affected, and our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and the Lord are weakened. We do not have the time, energy, or interest to seek spiritual things.

"How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things? May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us. These lessons, along with many other important lessons of my life, were taught to me by my wife and eternal companion. These lessons were learned at two different times in our marriage—both on occasions when I wanted to buy her a special gift.

"The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”
The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)

"Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me.

"After that we had a serious, life-changing discussion about provident living, and both of us agreed that our money would be better spent in paying down our home mortgage and adding to our children’s education fund.

"These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”"

I want to continue to strive to live by these words. I haven't always, but I know it is wise counsel.

4 comments:

Bill and Valerie Cobabe said...

Or you could just wait for Jimmy Durante to kick the bucket and go find the money under the palm trees.

Dad

Amie Cobb said...

Isn't he already dead? Has anyone ever found the loot?

Bill and Valerie Cobabe said...

I guess you will just have to watch the movie. It is one of my favorites. I have never laughed so hard as when he kicked that bucket.

Amie Cobb said...

It's one of Gordon's favorite movies. I can't STAND it! You'll have to watch it with him when you get here. He'd love it. Meanwhile, mom and I will go shopping for fabric or something. ;)